Fact #15

It's impossible to count your blessings.

One of my duties after camp is to drive to one of our bus's drop-off sites to make sure the one kid that is picked up from that site makes it to his parental unit safely. So, quite literally, I drive 20 minutes to watch Samuel walk from Point A, to Point B, and then drive back.

Then I say, "Why?" shrug, shake my head, then consider myself blessed regardless and drive on back.

Today, as I watched the kid scamper off to his mom (who is always early) and began to feel my impatience flutter like a tiny dragon eating any stomach butterflies I could ever possess, I decided to try out that good ol' saying, "Count your blessings."

As I actually attempted to do so, I realized that there was no way I was going to find an end. Once I was up to my point in the route to which I must dodge construction (and the road workers that come along with it), I had lost count completely.

Funny, how testing out such a simple, age-old idea can improve your outlook so easily.

Fact #14

A sense of humor is the perfect boyfriend (or spouse, for those enviably blissful few).

10) It always shows up on time for parties.
9) It can't hold your hair back, but it's forgiving after that party.
8) It (positively) encourages weight loss (laughter = 1.3 calories/minute).
7) It'll get you out of a tight spot with your parents, your professor...or your neighbor...
6) It's never out of your league.
5) Together you make the absolute cutest Facebook profile pictures.
4) It doesn't have to hug you to make you feel good.
3) All of your friends love it.
2) Keeps you warm at night, and leaves you with a smile on your face.
1) God gives it to you right on time.


I felt my last post was rather cocky, and I apologize. I'm not one for deleting things though, and I still hold to a few of those ideals stated within the entry. Plus, I'd rather you see me for who I am, flaws and all, than some monolithic character incapable of growth. Because, really, what's the point of a Christian community if we can't grow together, right?

Fact #13

Humor is a blessing to the observant.

I don't mean to toot my own horn or anything (which I always thought was an odd saying...can you imagine people walking around with horns simply for that reason? Strange.) but I'm a rather entertaining human being. I'm told this all of the time, so, unless I'm continually surrounded by enemies, I'll continue to assume it's true. However, I must stress that it is rarely my own material. People constantly ask me if I make my stories up as I tell them. As if I were that creative. Ha.

God definitely has blessed me with the gift of observation and timing. And making friends with the most odd assortment of people in the world. In fact, now that I think about it, I'm quite positive that if all of my friends were to sit down to dinner together, nothing and no one would make it out alive, either due to busting a gut, or a fist fight (which would go unnoticed, because everyone would be laughing too hard).

I sometimes wonder if a little observation doesn't better all things. The bad breakup, the angry parent, the nasty injury (I currently have poison ivy). We'll take the example of a terrible coworker. If you take the time to notice the good things a body's capable of, rather than that one (or several, if it's male) thing they've done, your day can become infinitely better. Especially if it was something unintentional. I know a handful of absolutely terrible people that end up creating half of my Twitter updates. And knowing that they would definitely behead me if they knew I was quoting them only makes it that much better.

Fact #12

When it comes to matters of reputation and credibility, you have to stick to your guns.


My grandparents sent me a sweater last semester, and I absolutely loved it. The problem? It was sized to fit the girth of Violet Beauregarde after the blueberry pie gum incident. So, naturally, I sent it back to the company, (which I shall give the pseudonym of...Dabela's). They kindly told me that, because the sweater was no longer in stock, they would send me a gift card in its place for the value of the sweater. After several months of waiting, however, I received no such card. No big deal, really. Things happen. So I emailed them. This is when the hilarious argument that only God could bless me with began. To spare you reading all eight pages (yes, eight), I'll skip to my favorite part:


Dear Ashley,
It states that the card was indeed sent to Harambee.

Sincerely,
Quinten C.
Customer Service


Dear Quinten,
I have no idea where that is...I go to school in Elgin, IL. I have a few friends and family that may know where it is though...

Cheers,
Ashley McCambridge


Dear Ashley,
It's actually the northern part of Milwaukee, WI.
Sincerely,

Quinten C.
Customer Service


Dear Quinten,
Haha, well there you go; I definitely don't know where it is then.

Cheers,
Ashley McCambridge


Dear Ashley,
It was mostly spent in the deli in our Richfield store. A buffalo burger, a grilled chicken sandwich, and candy, according to the redeemed gift card transactions.

Sincerely,
Quinten C.
Customer Service


Dear Quinten,
Then I continue to assert this wasn't my doing; I'm a vegetarian.

Cheers,
Ashley McCambridge


Dear Ashley,
We will send you a new gift card at the address you have provided with us. We apologize for the confusion.

Sincerely,
Quinten C.
Customer Service


Persistence seems to go a long way. So does honesty.

Fact #11

You can't always get what you want.


The Rolling Stones were right. You can't always get what you want. It may happen on occasion, but really, if we were 100% honest, it rarely happens. And so we change our attitudes, manipulate them sometimes, even. We will do anything to make ourselves believe our desires are the most important. For example, my wiener dog, Carl, believes finding his hidden kong is worth nudging me incessantly for at 12:46 AM. What he doesn't realize is that by doing so, he has interrupted my sleep, heightening the chances that I will forget to feed him in the morning, as I chase my desire to show up to work on time.

Ah, the price we pay for entertainment.

And yet, what happens to us when our desire for goodness and our desire for anything else conflict? We begin down that slippery slope of justification.

Cognitive dissonance, you're an absolute whore.