Sunday, March 7, 2010

Fact #7

Opportunity is petrifying.


"You're so talented! You should totally go for it; it's the chance of a lifetime!"

I listened to B's words as I stared at my computer screen, half excitement, half dread pounding in the cavity that, while normally contains food, now housed my heart.
No...nono...not possible...they would never... But yes...they would. And did.

The situation was this: one of my favorite bands, intimidatingly indie in their brilliance and
threateningly accessible in their enrollment at my school, recently posted the following on their Facebook status:


one new person can play with us at any of our shows. here is what we are looking for: horns, keyboard, glockenspiel, violin, cello, viola, choir... whatever else you can convince us is cool first come first serve anyone up for the beat kitchen show!!

You're always safe dreaming dreams. You're completely fine talking about them, laughing as you describe the quintessential moment that allows you to shine. You're comfortable planning steps to achieve everything you could hope for. You're safe laboriously going over every detail of that pinnacle point of your personal history.

Then Opportunity rears its ugly head, demanding you to act.

It doesn't help that this particular chance was brought to my attention immediately following the Oscars, the one television event that reminds me of my hopes and dreams as they glide seamlessly glide across stage.
That, however, is hardly an attainable goal at this point.

There are two things I love third to God and my family, respectively: acting and making music. Now acting right now, is an opportunity that ebbs and flows like a steady tide. Four shows a year, plus improv and a troupe for chapel. It's opportunity I'm comfortable with.


I haven't played music for anyone save myself and my lessons profs since high school. I miss it, especially that incandescent comfort you get playing with other musicians you've become to trust.
But, being as reserved with my trust as I am, I'm more afraid of performing music than anything, acting included. Acting requires you to represent someone else, or their ideas of humanity. Music demands your most absolute self.

here is what we are looking for: horns, keyboard, glockenspiel, violin, cello, viola, choir...

Here's what I'm looking for: courage, patience, and grace.

See you at the Beat Kitchen.