Fact #3

Financial desperation isn't half bad if you: 1) are single, 2) haven't claimed any dependents on your tax refund, 3) own a camera. If you are missing one of these, find a friend that qualifies. If you have no friends, my condolences.


Let's put it this way: books are to college kids what trains are to hobos. That is to say, essential if you would like to go anywhere. And with my major, I'm likely to experience both realities.

My dad worries I'm not selfish enough. His view of me is a hippy-dippy born-again who throws her money violently at the homeless, and if on the Upper East Side, burns it. This simply is not so. However, all fathers would like to think their children kind and ridiculous, so I allow him the illusion.

My closest friend B and I have run into the predicament of not being able to afford basic college supplies, such as books. Thus, we have decided to take a weekend trip over to the nearest plasma donation site, slice open our largest vessels, and see who can fill their bag the quickest. We have rescheduled this trip several times now, mainly due to B's aversion to needles, pain, and blood, and the convenient cropping up of other, less distressing activities, such as watching an entire season of Gossip Girl, or walking in on a Shriner's rally (to be featured in this blog at a later date).

However, she has finally convinced herself that this Saturday is the day. We have three cars of people to document the event. Often enough, most things aren't worth doing unless you can document them properly on Facebook. Who needs memories if you can't make other people feel bad for not having as much fun? The photos will be featured shortly after.

Fact #2

Life will never be as exciting as any movie. Ever.

You could argue that reality TV has cured this depressing truth, but I quite disagree. This is mainly due to the fact that people only tend to act out when they know they have a captive audience, and/or it has been scripted, as most everything is nowadays.

I came upon this weighted realization a couple weeks ago, after seeing Sherlock Holmes for the second time. Growing up, I had always wanted to be a detective. My dad was one for a time, but it wasn't his footsteps I wanted to follow diligently. A small town detective is only bombarded with petty paperwork. I had aspirations of being the next Dick Tracy, Nancy Drew, Basil of Baker Street (the closest I had to Holmes growing up).

I used to put up posters every day, looking for a Watson to my Holmes, crossing out the, to my ever-discerning seven year-old brain, intellectually unsuitable. Of course, there were very few that could ever keep up with my schemes. I doubt I could have kept up with my younger self now, so my sympathies go out to all of the neighbors I convicted then. Of course, nothing ever came of those convictions. I continued to pester my neighborhood friend, pealing "Let's go have adventures!" The girls beating the boys in kickball was as close as we got.

Going about the day-to-day in faith can be an adventure. Maybe God made Earth this dull so we'd want Heaven more. In the meantime, I'll continue to study codes and ciphers. Perhaps a secret society is just what this campus needs.

Fact #1

Lying is the tactic of cowards, and sarcasm is the refuge of losers. Sadly, I'm a dedicated patron to both.


A lot of people, especially students of the Baptist institution I study at, find it important to inform me that my sarcasm makes people feel bad. I make it a point to counter that it does not, in fact, make people feel bad. It hurts their pride by preying on insecurities. Therefore, stop being such an obvious target and get your nose out of the air, you weak-minded snob.

Lying is more like a game. Compare it to gambling, if you will. Impossible to know when people will catch on, because humans are rather unpredictable human beings, as God is the only one who ever possibly truly know their true motives. Bully for Him. It's probably a habit I should break, but unfortunately they don't make patch for fibs.


Oh, by the way, if you're a reader from my last blog, congratulations, you found me. If you're new, welcome. I'm sure we'll be great friends.