"When it is dark enough, you can see the stars." -Charles A. Beard
This was a quote featured in the book we're supposed to be reading for my Formations class. I haven't quoted anything from it, because amidst all of the other thought-provoking material I have been bombarded with the past month, the devotional On Being a Servant of God by Warren W. Wiersbe struggled to stay at the forefront of my mind. It's not a bad read, though.
It's been plenty dark here, as you've been reading, and my mind's already rebelling at the understanding that it'll be winter soon. Less daylight = more insanity. I honestly balked at the idea of leaving my weekend vacation with friends to go back to the seminary. Having felt attacked spiritually, emotionally, and now mentally from all sides, the idea of giving up was, for the first time in a long time, starting to look like a rational possibility. Maybe this seminary thing wasn't for me. Maybe I should actually become a waitress, act on the weekends, passing along my screenplays for wary producers to read while I refilled their coffees. Maybe the ministry assessment guy was right. I am simply not strong enough.
No.
Whenever someone outright told me "you can't," "too hard," or "you're not x-y-z enough," it hits a point where I'm ready to give in, then someone, be it Bekah, Bethany, or my mom says, "You're kidding, right?" and I go through with the plans, as scheduled, only to realize if I hadn't something profoundly God-centered occurs. Pursued acting, won an award, spurred me onto Judson, despite skeptics due to my appearance. Wrote Judson's first "serious one-act," inspired mass theological discussion on campus even thought my co-leader tore it down the night before our performance. Applied to Northern and for a scholarship, received both against all odds. God revealed himself to me and to others in each. I believe God would have completed his work had I decided not to do any of these things...but then I wouldn't have been gifted such unforgettable experiences. And I'm pretty sure God wants his children in on the adventure.
So, regardless of my feet dragging, I came back. I put my things away, went to John, Rick, and Dougal's to watch some Dr. Who, and realized that, even if the gradual dark is disconcerting and causes me to fumble about, once I settle, it's actually pretty peaceful. And one by one, the stars start revealing themselves.
Where do you see God working?
In solidifying my relationships here, at seminary, so I feel supported, not condemned.
What do you hear God saying?
"Rest in me."
How do you see God working?
By bringing up difficult subjects so I learn how to lean not on my own understanding.
This was a quote featured in the book we're supposed to be reading for my Formations class. I haven't quoted anything from it, because amidst all of the other thought-provoking material I have been bombarded with the past month, the devotional On Being a Servant of God by Warren W. Wiersbe struggled to stay at the forefront of my mind. It's not a bad read, though.
It's been plenty dark here, as you've been reading, and my mind's already rebelling at the understanding that it'll be winter soon. Less daylight = more insanity. I honestly balked at the idea of leaving my weekend vacation with friends to go back to the seminary. Having felt attacked spiritually, emotionally, and now mentally from all sides, the idea of giving up was, for the first time in a long time, starting to look like a rational possibility. Maybe this seminary thing wasn't for me. Maybe I should actually become a waitress, act on the weekends, passing along my screenplays for wary producers to read while I refilled their coffees. Maybe the ministry assessment guy was right. I am simply not strong enough.
No.
Whenever someone outright told me "you can't," "too hard," or "you're not x-y-z enough," it hits a point where I'm ready to give in, then someone, be it Bekah, Bethany, or my mom says, "You're kidding, right?" and I go through with the plans, as scheduled, only to realize if I hadn't something profoundly God-centered occurs. Pursued acting, won an award, spurred me onto Judson, despite skeptics due to my appearance. Wrote Judson's first "serious one-act," inspired mass theological discussion on campus even thought my co-leader tore it down the night before our performance. Applied to Northern and for a scholarship, received both against all odds. God revealed himself to me and to others in each. I believe God would have completed his work had I decided not to do any of these things...but then I wouldn't have been gifted such unforgettable experiences. And I'm pretty sure God wants his children in on the adventure.
So, regardless of my feet dragging, I came back. I put my things away, went to John, Rick, and Dougal's to watch some Dr. Who, and realized that, even if the gradual dark is disconcerting and causes me to fumble about, once I settle, it's actually pretty peaceful. And one by one, the stars start revealing themselves.
Where do you see God working?
In solidifying my relationships here, at seminary, so I feel supported, not condemned.
What do you hear God saying?
"Rest in me."
How do you see God working?
By bringing up difficult subjects so I learn how to lean not on my own understanding.
