Fact #9

All good things take time.

Art, relationships, the perfect soufflè...whatever it is, chances are it's going to take awhile before it's even satisfactory to you. And even then, it'll take time and effort. This brings up several frustrating points:

1) You may lose track of other important things.

2) It takes a part of you, and may keep that part.

3) Patience is required. Sometimes a lot of friggin' patience.

4) Others may discourage you.

5) It may have not been worth it in the end.

And yet, the rewards often outweigh the risks. People, for instance, continually take time no matter how well you know them. And because you can't just shut them off or put them away, this process will never end.

That is, of course, assuming you're not a jerk.

Fact #8

Comedy = (Tragedy + Distance)/Time

I'm not one to gripe, but this has been a bad week. I mean one of those never-come-up-for-air-from-the-bad...weeks. And what pisses me off more than anything right now, more than having my crush ignore me after months of flirting, more than having to re-reschedule my guitar lesson despite not having time to practice for juries, more than having my favorite professor call me out on a deep personal familial hurt in the middle of my advanced public speaking class...is the fact that I can't even relish this rare chance at anger, because of my knowledge that I will laugh at the slew of frustration as soon as next week begins.

There is no doubt that anger is rarely justifiable, and even more rarely righteous. And all too often, if you make the mistake of acting on your anger, you'll find you became the villain you thought you were battling.

Fact #7

Opportunity is petrifying.


"You're so talented! You should totally go for it; it's the chance of a lifetime!"

I listened to B's words as I stared at my computer screen, half excitement, half dread pounding in the cavity that, while normally contains food, now housed my heart. No...nono...not possible...they would never... But yes...they would. And did.

The situation was this: one of my favorite bands, intimidatingly indie in their brilliance and threateningly accessible in their enrollment at my school, recently posted the following on their Facebook status:

one new person can play with us at any of our shows. here is what we are looking for: horns, keyboard, glockenspiel, violin, cello, viola, choir... whatever else you can convince us is cool first come first serve anyone up for the beat kitchen show!!

You're always safe dreaming dreams. You're completely fine talking about them, laughing as you describe the quintessential moment that allows you to shine. You're comfortable planning steps to achieve everything you could hope for. You're safe laboriously going over every detail of that pinnacle point of your personal history.

Then Opportunity rears its ugly head, demanding you to act.

It doesn't help that this particular chance was brought to my attention immediately following the Oscars, the one television event that reminds me of my hopes and dreams as they glide seamlessly glide across stage. That, however, is hardly an attainable goal at this point.

There are two things I love third to God and my family, respectively: acting and making music. Now acting right now, is an opportunity that ebbs and flows like a steady tide. Four shows a year, plus improv and a troupe for chapel. It's opportunity I'm comfortable with.

I haven't played music for anyone save myself and my lessons profs since high school. I miss it, especially that incandescent comfort you get playing with other musicians you've become to trust. But, being as reserved with my trust as I am, I'm more afraid of performing music than anything, acting included. Acting requires you to represent someone else, or their ideas of humanity. Music demands your most absolute self.

here is what we are looking for: horns, keyboard, glockenspiel, violin, cello, viola, choir...

Here's what I'm looking for: courage, patience, and grace.

See you at the Beat Kitchen.

Fact #6

It is impossible to efficiently judge people, for all are in a constant state of flux.

It would be of great comfort to many people, most of all myself, to be able to classify people as one does animals. That is, in Latin, on a hierarchical chart. This would make things so much more simple, without me having to change my social tactics with any of them.

I'm in a communications theory class this semester, and it is fascinating. It's interesting to think of these theorists, and the ways in which they attempt to predict human motivation. They make some very valid claims, such as the theories of Social Penetration, Uncertainty-Reduction, and especially Stella Ting-Toomey's ideas on conflict resolution in her theory of Face-Negotiation. They will continue their research, forever believing that, at some point, they will have narrowed down their theory enough to be able to fully rely on its hypothesis.

However, this will never be. People are complex; joy is as common as rage, disillusionment as hope, and obsession as passion. You will never know your best friends as well as you think, and vice-versa and, though this fact may seem incredibly depressing and increasingly frustrating, it is Good. When we think about it, would we truly want it any other way? Yes, of course, I jest that my desires lean to the ideal of having all humans placed on microscope slides for me to analyze and make clear-cut conjectures about, but after all my work would be done, what would really be gained? There would be nothing left to quest over, save God. And God created us imago dei, so who am I to tamper with that?

Fact #5

Sometimes there are standards you will not live up to.

I know I said I'd post photos, but I decided to give you a bonus for being so dedicated and made a movie instead. The video pretty much explains all. B and J will probably be mentioned often here. We’re planning on going back and trying again. Maybe that time with track marks up our arms to be more convincing.

Fact #4

When you grow up, you will have to take multi-vitamins. And they will taste awful.


I spilled my One-a-Days in my sink today. I was immediately greeted with the pungent aroma of health. It's amazing how something so nutritious can inspire one to gag upon its scent. It didn't help that they instantly began dissolving into pasty yellow mush once they came in contact with the puddle of water by the drain.

I normally choke them down with orange juice, but I ran out, so the remnants of my Mt. Dew's going to have to suffice. Ironically collegiate diet, I must say.

God, please inspire someone to create vitamins for college kids; ones that taste like home-cooked meals, or sushi, or blueberry pie. These taste like old people. Mixed with highlighter fluid.

Fact #3

Financial desperation isn't half bad if you: 1) are single, 2) haven't claimed any dependents on your tax refund, 3) own a camera. If you are missing one of these, find a friend that qualifies. If you have no friends, my condolences.


Let's put it this way: books are to college kids what trains are to hobos. That is to say, essential if you would like to go anywhere. And with my major, I'm likely to experience both realities.

My dad worries I'm not selfish enough. His view of me is a hippy-dippy born-again who throws her money violently at the homeless, and if on the Upper East Side, burns it. This simply is not so. However, all fathers would like to think their children kind and ridiculous, so I allow him the illusion.

My closest friend B and I have run into the predicament of not being able to afford basic college supplies, such as books. Thus, we have decided to take a weekend trip over to the nearest plasma donation site, slice open our largest vessels, and see who can fill their bag the quickest. We have rescheduled this trip several times now, mainly due to B's aversion to needles, pain, and blood, and the convenient cropping up of other, less distressing activities, such as watching an entire season of Gossip Girl, or walking in on a Shriner's rally (to be featured in this blog at a later date).

However, she has finally convinced herself that this Saturday is the day. We have three cars of people to document the event. Often enough, most things aren't worth doing unless you can document them properly on Facebook. Who needs memories if you can't make other people feel bad for not having as much fun? The photos will be featured shortly after.

Fact #2

Life will never be as exciting as any movie. Ever.

You could argue that reality TV has cured this depressing truth, but I quite disagree. This is mainly due to the fact that people only tend to act out when they know they have a captive audience, and/or it has been scripted, as most everything is nowadays.

I came upon this weighted realization a couple weeks ago, after seeing Sherlock Holmes for the second time. Growing up, I had always wanted to be a detective. My dad was one for a time, but it wasn't his footsteps I wanted to follow diligently. A small town detective is only bombarded with petty paperwork. I had aspirations of being the next Dick Tracy, Nancy Drew, Basil of Baker Street (the closest I had to Holmes growing up).

I used to put up posters every day, looking for a Watson to my Holmes, crossing out the, to my ever-discerning seven year-old brain, intellectually unsuitable. Of course, there were very few that could ever keep up with my schemes. I doubt I could have kept up with my younger self now, so my sympathies go out to all of the neighbors I convicted then. Of course, nothing ever came of those convictions. I continued to pester my neighborhood friend, pealing "Let's go have adventures!" The girls beating the boys in kickball was as close as we got.

Going about the day-to-day in faith can be an adventure. Maybe God made Earth this dull so we'd want Heaven more. In the meantime, I'll continue to study codes and ciphers. Perhaps a secret society is just what this campus needs.

Fact #1

Lying is the tactic of cowards, and sarcasm is the refuge of losers. Sadly, I'm a dedicated patron to both.


A lot of people, especially students of the Baptist institution I study at, find it important to inform me that my sarcasm makes people feel bad. I make it a point to counter that it does not, in fact, make people feel bad. It hurts their pride by preying on insecurities. Therefore, stop being such an obvious target and get your nose out of the air, you weak-minded snob.

Lying is more like a game. Compare it to gambling, if you will. Impossible to know when people will catch on, because humans are rather unpredictable human beings, as God is the only one who ever possibly truly know their true motives. Bully for Him. It's probably a habit I should break, but unfortunately they don't make patch for fibs.


Oh, by the way, if you're a reader from my last blog, congratulations, you found me. If you're new, welcome. I'm sure we'll be great friends.